The girls that I know wouldn’t think so…

I realized today that a lot of the crap email I get is unwanted promotional material from bands and labels…ones that I normally would never care about. Goddamn indie hipsters…I’m pretty sure it’s from my association with Late Night Wallflower too, since we cover a broad spectrum of stuff over there, as opposed to say, the little I’ve done for others like Razorcake or Feel The Word, which has been almost entirely stuff that I’ve liked. Shit, for FTW I just pick stuff from my own collection that I love to review! Some of which is sorta old and not exactly on the indie/underground radar anymore, so you see why I’ve narrowed it down to one “culprit”, as it were. Whatever, just bitching…

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My mother’s mother died of lung cancer when I was a little kid, I think I might have been 7, 8? I honestly cannot remember. She’d been a smoker for a long time, and the last memory I have of her is her in a wheelchair in JFK, with an oxygen tank in her lap leading to her nose, going back to Greece to die. They didn’t tell me that though, they said she was going “home to rest”. When she did pass, I remember the moment really well, oddly enough. I was playing with Play-Doh of all things, and watching TV. It was a Saturday or Sunday morning, and my mother came into the room and talked to me. I remember not really feeling anything, and that the concept of death seemingly made perfect sense to me.

I guess I’d been lucky and sheltered enough to not have had to deal with the concept of the death of a loved one sooner in life. Still, I sometimes wonder what it says that, for a long time, I didn’t really mourn for her. I just knew that she’d been sick, that she’d gotten sick from smoking, that she’d gotten worse, and that she wasn’t coming back. Just like that, the whole thing snapped into place as a logical train of thought for my 8 or 9-year old brain to digest.

I didn’t go to the funeral. I didn’t have to deal with a funeral again (though I did deal with death) until my 20’s when I was a pallbearer for an aunt’s funeral, which is another story altogether. Sorry for the depression, this just brought it to mind-

CNN.com; “Explaining death to children”

Interesting and thoughtful article, especially;

-Avoid euphemisms. “Never say somebody is sleeping,” says Noble, the funeral-home manager. “It connotes they’re going to wake up.” It also makes children afraid to go to sleep at night, he says, for fear they will not wake up.

-Many parents turn to their faith to help explain death. Hamilton, though, advises parents to tread carefully: “Children tend to interpret words literally, and religious explanations and imagery that comfort an adult may be frightening for a child.”

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In other less depressing news, I got a new phone this weekend and am thoroughly excited. Also, might be showing up at Feel The Word again soon, and some more big news that made me jump for joy yesterday. So stoked on that…later, sportsfans.

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About Costa

Writer. College professor.
This entry was posted in childhood memories, news, punk, random. Bookmark the permalink.

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