So a couple of months ago I got a fat package in the mail with a ton of zines to review, along with a couple of books. Since I’m lazy and stupid and would rather read stuff I find interesting and listen to music and watch TV and do schoolwork instead, I never did. I think I read a few of them but just never got around to it. To be honest, most of them don’t really look that good.
Anyway, I was cleaning up a few days ago and found most of them. I threw two out (one was an issue of Maximum Rock ‘N Roll because that magazine sucks dick and the other was some new-age shit) and decided I’d do something with the rest. Which is how we got here, with a pile of paper on my desk at work and me with a bit of time to kill.
“Lazy Boy”. Yeah, that’s a penis on the front. It’s mostly about sorta funny gay stories…OK stuff I guess. I recently noticed the penis on the cover is uncircumcised though, and to be honest I can’t get behind that. Sorry bro.
“The Anteater’s Dream.” Not bad, well-rounded and a decent mix of music, stories, essays, funny lists. Actually well-put together, I’ll probably actually read it more carefully in the near future.
I don’t even know what the fuck the title of this one is, I can’t read it. In fact, this one might have a fate with the shredder later on. I hate one-page zines, sorry. Don’t be a cheap fucking bastard when it comes to paper if you wanna do a zine.
“Proclamation Indignation”. This one came with a book by some guy who I think calls himself Eli Indignant. It’s an OK book, sort of boring and preachy to be honest. I didn’t finish it. It’d be better without the “I’m anti-consumerist” radical bullshit. The zine is mostly just that crap sans story. Good times.
“The Juniper”. Issue 9. I’m not a farmer, and thus, DO NOT CARE. Sorry, off-the-land types. I like my MSG thick and my delivery on-time thanks to dudes on bikes. The closest I’ve ever come to farming is growing tomatoes in the backyard.
“The Black Cloud: Clips From A Doomed Journalism Career #1”. Not bad, I liked this one, especially the story about getting shit-faced at the Halloween party dressed up as Hulk Hogan and Jem.
“The Night Owl”. I’m a night owl, and WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY ABOUT ONE-SHEET ZINES?! Seriously guys.
“Blues: Lust For Lists #7”. It’s lists. And the cover is made of cardboard.
“Love In The Time Of Scabies, number seven”. There’s a cool comic in here called THE NON-ADVENTURES OF TRENCHCOAT & KIM that I like, plus an interview with Cristy C. Road that’s terribly printed in a shitty attempt to look punk rock or something stupid like that.
So yeah…wow that was long.