I have to talk about this with you.
It’s perhaps one of the biggest mindfucks you will every see. It is the heart and twisted pervert soul of Queens Public Access. It is…Sci-Fi Ninja Theater.
Tessa and I watch this. Don’t ask me why, because we can’t really tell you exactly what it is about it that keeps us coming back after that first discovery. it’s a shittily-done public access show that’s basically this weird troll-man at various horror/anime/comic conventions, wandering around with just a camera, picking up every goddamn fucking ambient sound around him, talking to teenage girls and prodding old horror/comic icons into saying “You’re watching Sci-Fi Ninja Theater!” for a chance to pimp their own stuff.
It’s really horrible. Like, I cannot stress just how badly the whole thing is edited and just how surreal it is to watch and just see the people he talks to. Actually, I take that back, he doesn’t even really talk to them, he just pans up and down and occasionally gets them to pose. Talking would require making sounds and since the only mic is on the camera, you can’t hear anything at all. It’s all background noise.
Have I mentioned how the dude(s), and I say that because I’m not sure if it’s only 1 guy doing this or 2, are also ninjas?
Yes, dudes who call themselves ninjas. Mad Ninja Clan or Shadow Ninja Clan or something like that. I don’t really question it too much, it hurts my brain.
So why the hell do we watch it?
I’ll tell you why. It’s goddamn ridiculous. It’s the ultimate in people-watching. Where else in the world am I going to get a chance to watch kids in full cosplay (that’s “costume play”!) actually post for this weird fat dude in a sleeveless shirt and long greasy hair with a camera? It’s probably one of the most crazy things I’ve ever come across on TV. The whole package of poor editing/filming skills, subject matter, and sheer bravado just makes it the perfect Monday night TV package. Think grindhouse but with ugly chicks who have NO BUSINESS wearing costumes like that. Think the dark unexplored back corner or room of the comic book shop where all the commision badly-handmade figurines get stuck. Think the heavy metal guy from high school who didn’t really get along with girls, watched A LOT of anime, and porn, and anime porn but add about 10 years and 20 lbs.
Mix it all together, shake, add a dash of “fuck it it’s Monday and maybe they’ll show something interesting this time!”, and you’ve got Sci-Fi Ninja Theater. Serves 2 to 6.